#2: Your Future Won’t Save Your Past

#CancelCulture, Grammys nonsense, a peek into Gen-Z psyche, and Living Colour

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#CancelCulture: the new “Political Correctness”

THIS RECORD KEEPS SKIPPING

“Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” got an overhaul in 1991 by then-president George H.W. Bush. “Enterprise, speech, and spirit” became his new truths, voiced to 55K Xers at the University of Michigan commencement ceremony that year. See, daddio Bush aimed to quell the growing “political correctness” movement by declaring that “what began as a cause for civility has soured into a cause of conflict and even censorship.”

Skip a beat to 2021 and it’s same tune, same song. The phenomenon, repackaged as #CancelCulture, is scrapping everything from Dr. Seuss, the NFL, the Potatohead fam, The [Dixie] Chicks, the real Slim Shady, Target, freshmen, J.K. Rowling, Bachelor Nation, skinny jeans — and much more. Even black eyed peas are up for discussion (Goya brand, not the band).

Fact is, none of this is new. Institutions, governments, religions, schools, cults — some lauded, some loathed, some new, some old — #canceled everything from books to music to customs to entire peoples since civilization became a thing. Hell, our own parents tried to cancel just about everything we loved at one point or another. Little did they know, we were simultaneously canceling everything they held dear right under their noses. What they decried as controversial, we deemed righteous and essential. 

Ironically, some of our own are calling on Gen-X to fix this mess. Someone missed the memo that many of us were the root cause of the ‘80s cultural renaissance — pushing edgy music, reality TV, forward fashion, indie flicks, corporate hierarchy, civil rights, and wild hairstyles. As for the rest of us… well, we were chillin’ at the mall.

So, all that being said, let’s drop the “Gen-X, please save us omg, omg, omg” theatrics. As much as we love a good primetime soap, this battle is one that will outlive all of us. And with that, we offer our condolences…

LIVE AND LET DIE

We at The Fast Times plan to stand by our own truths: individual thought, freedom of choice, and above all, mutual respect. And we offer the other “gens” out there the following creed: 

We, the huddled masses of latchkeys, the proud few who carried the weight of a thousand TV dinners (figuratively and literally), who ran the household while the parent(s) worked late, who sometimes remembered to take out the garbage, and who still kept tabs with the latest 
MTV Newsway back when, do humbly suggest that everyone follow the same rhetorical prompt that society at large has ignored our entire lives: you do you and leave us be.

Reality is, no one generation is responsible for saving the world, (except maybe The Greatest Generation, they kinda did…), and this “life” thing is a team sport. To quote Bill and Ted, just “be excellent to each other”. Sage words.

Now that we’ve washed our hands of that T-R-I-C-K-Y mess, when is Gen-Z gonna fix climate change already...?

ZING!

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The Mixtape: Vol. 2

Don’t have a cow... Vol. 2 is coming at ya Monday morning with more gold links than Mr. T’s neckline.

Jonesing for a sneak peek? We’ve got tracks on tracks on tracksuits spinnin’ over at Club Spotify, because nothing compares 2 u.


Voicemail: officially canceled

Folks these days gag on a spoon every time they’re forced to listen to your two-minute diatribes via voicemail.

Be cool. Text instead.

Whisky or Whiskey? Doesn’t Matter to Gen-Z

These crazy kids would rather eat Tide Pods than throw a rager. Even though the youngest Zoomers are still in high school, the “generation most likely to save all our asses” (unofficial superlative) is less likely than any other generation to consume alcohol at the ready.

In fact, Gen-Z’s most notorious vice is Social Media — that one’s a biggie, biggie, biggie.

“We have so much more to do than [just] drink and take drugs” — Demi Babalola tells The Guardian.

OK, HERE’S THE SITUATION

While the rest of us recover from our St. Paddy’s Day tomfoolery, just know the youngsters today are more addicted to TikTok than tonics, their fair-trade organic juice is decidedly sans gin, and their startups are making more green than we smoked at the Willie Nelson concert that one time… (for the record, we didn’t inhale).

P.S.: Gen-Z reports that the “Tide Pods” joke is overplayed. As if!

“Time’s Up”

1991 Grammy Winner, Best Hard Rock Album, by Living Colour. In honor of Irish rebel culture, we’re hoisting a Guiness to the ever-controversial Sinead O’Connor by celebrating Living Colour instead — because that’s what she’d want.

As the first artist to officially reject her Grammy, Sinead helped teach the world that no lucky charm is worth more than equality. In an act of solidarity, Living Colour’s Vernon Reid accepted the group’s 1991 award for Best Hard Rock Performance wearing Sinead’s likeness on this epic t-shirt.

“NARAS doesn’t dictate my dress code.” — Vernon Reid


P.P.S.: “Parents Just Don’t Understand” made history as the first hip-hop track to win a gold gramophone in 1989. Blue Ivy Carter made history as the youngest Black Grammy winner in 2021. AND, her Ma, Queen Bey, reigns supreme for most Grammys ever won by a female artist. Blue, your parents DO understand.


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